Stockings Hung with Care

Stockings Hung with Care, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

Merry Christmas everyone! Sara got home from baby-day-care a bit ago and is now taking a nap... Later today we are going to have some of the other Dr. kids over for dinner that had to work today as well, and so Sara wanted to get stockings for all of them. Should be a good dinner - complete with marinaded beef tri-tips and Absolute La La Land martinis, ha. Hope you all have a good Christmas!

[Untitled]

[Untitled], originally uploaded by a b franzen.

Yesterday it was 65 here.

It has been really nice being off of school so far. Sara and I have been able to do a lot of stuff together since being off and being home more (taking into account that she is not off, of course). Yesterday we went running around this little 'lake' nearby to enjoy the beautiful day out.

We also went to a new church to change things up a bit and to see if we can find some friends. It occurred to me that Christmas was actually this week, and it doesn't feel much like Christmas. Partly I thought of this because this church focused on Advent in their service and I hadn't realized until then that I don't think the other church had even mentioned the existence of Advent.

Sara has to work on Christmas day, but should get off relatively early in the day. As such, we are going to have any of the other residents that will be around over for Christmas dinner. Should be a good time. We have 3 takers so far. Maybe later this week it will feel like Christmas more.

Yesterday it was 65 here.

The Judge

The Judge, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

First semester is now finished (apart from giving a final in the morning)! Good times. That's all I've got for now.

Clara

Clara, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

Just as I was about to put this picture up I realized that I tend to have a fair amount of pictures with beer in them. Oh well. I am alright with that.

I just finished up 2 out of 3 big papers at the end of the semester here and thought that deserved a little bit of a break and a quick post.

One nice thing about working from home is that beer can keep me company. Besides the fact that drinking at a place of work is typically frowned upon, my place of 'work' is a Baptist institution and word on the street is that they don't even allow dancing on campus (in an officially sanctioned kind of a way, I assume).

I know that in general I can be a bit of a weird person, but one weird thing about me is how I write papers. Typically, by the time that I sit down at the computer to write a paper it is already essentially all written out in my mind and it only needs to be materialized with the help of my friend Word. But, it is getting to this point that is the most painful.

Sometimes I know what I want to write about and it is all fairly smooth and quick, other times this is not the case. It took me almost a solid month to think about the basic idea, direction, and argument for my theory paper. It took me almost two full days to chose the variables I would look at for the stats paper (how many hours a person works and how much welfare they receive). That is just to choose the variables to look at, too! For this last paper I have to write, it took me almost the entire semester, essentially, to think of what I would want to do.

The worst part in all of it is that it is typically the same each time. I get very frustrated that I don't know what I want to do, and this is made worse by the fact that in the past it has worked out just fine. I mean really. There is no reason to think that just because in the past I was able to finally come up with some idea that it will happen again this time. Hence in the midst of the angst there is also no exit.

Anyways, there is another beer picture for you, and a small piece of my weirdness for you. Thanks for celebrating finishing up #2 with me.

interactions and healthy lifestyles

Here is a quick post to follow sara's on health. Above is a figure that I made that may (I haven't totally decided yet) visually depict the basic theory of that paper she mentioned. The interaction between the patient and the physician is a very interesting one. Why do some patients listen and do what is best for their health, and why do some not? Why are some interactions with doctors pleasant and some not? All patients and all physicians go into their interactions with expectations built upon their past experiences (whether experiences they actually had, heard about, or are merely common to their social and economic status). Sometimes these experiences and expectations (one's 'habitus' in the figure) overlap significantly with that of the physician and other times not at all. In addition to this, there are varying levels of voluntary trust that one may have in the physician, or the health system in general. The third part is that of how responsive the physician is to the actual individual with whom they are speaking. If they have very set expectations about how all patients should be and do not change according to different people, then they are not reflexive at all (they poorly react to specific situations or individuals). All of this together will, in the end, go a long way in determining whether some patient/physician interaction is positive or not, makes an impact or not, healthy lifestyles are adopted or not, and so on.

So, if you are still with me, I think this helps to answer the question of what, if anything, fighting at school has to do with one's health and medical care. The more that we are able to instill healthy living practices in people, the more this will change and shift their overall 'habitus,' the cognitive perspective from which they live their life. The more that we can teach children that fighting is bad for them in general, the more that we can change how they interpret their world and make decisions accordingly. In the end, they may actually grow up with a more healthy lifestyle than they otherwise would have.

"All for Health"

I'm on a community health list serve that focuses on improving health world-wide. This is something I got today from Jose Miguel and Luz Stella (2 people I have never met, but who work with a group called MAP international)...it's a little long, so skim it if you want :) It is most relevant for the improvement of health overseas, but I thought it was interesting for us here in the US as well in the middle of some major health reform. I don't want to get into a political blog here, but I like what he says, and think of most of it can apply here. Health in a wide definition of the word has to come from people's own motivation. Disease can be treated by doctors, but overall good health must be something people decide to pursue on their own and that I as a physician can never achieve for someone without their own help.

Over some delicious Thai food last night Aaron was grilling me on various questions about experiences with educated patients vs uneducated, compliance issues etc in relation to a paper he is writing. After attempting to answer his questions with my limited 5 months of doctoring experiences, I was telling him that I had spoken with one of my attendings about possibly getting involved in some school violence research she is doing and Aaron asked what school violence had to do with health. To me it has everything to do with health. I think the writing below helps sum up why we as pediatricians think everything has to do with health -- violence in schools, nutrition, disease prevention, self esteem, sleeping habits, grades, parenting habits, disciplining and so much more. Health is not just a narrow topic that deals only with disease but undermines how you can experience life.

"We are more and more convinced that health cannot be purchased, donated,
provided or "delivered". Health is a social process given by the capacity
for full self-actualization as individuals, families and integrated
communities (according to the will of God) in the various bio-psycho-social
aspects, in a self-sustaining manner without jeopardizing the conditions
which would allow successive generations to experience this fullness.
Comprehensive Health is a social process which enables individuals and
societies to gain control over health determinants and adapt dynamically to
their environment, engaging in the transformation of all those factors which
prevent the entire society from living in harmony and justice (with each
other, with God, and with the various physical, biological and psychosocial
ecosystems), without experiencing progressive conflict (or disease) and
without the presence of high risk of damaging their state of health if this
lifestyle and these ecological conditions are maintained. This is a new
paradigm no focused on "health services delivering" but on facilitating self
empowering process in communities to gain control over those health
determinants. CHWs play a key role making this a reality. Health is a
journey manifested in a dynamic process of self-empowered families &
communities gaining control over an integrated web of health determinants
that enables them for the construction of meaningful and sustainable
families and society.



This new paradigm of understanding health and development requires new ways
of approaching the way in which people see their own problems, fears, dreams
and desires, and how they can assume full responsibility in the direction of
their own history. Diagnosis and planning processes cannot continue to be
made from an outsider's perspective. True development and true health is a
matter of people, and not only health services or the measuring of
statistical data about biological, economical, or production phenomena.
History has shown that significant sustainable community development happens
only when local community people have developed the capability and
responsibility to invest themselves and the resources in the effort of
building their own well being. Communities have not been built from the top
down or from the outside in. Communities are the fruit of their own
intertwined processes and the ability they develop to care for themselves
and to proactively dialogue and interact with other communities or cultures
(but keeping the power to maintain their own identity and control of their
own history). Each society throughout history constructs a set of concepts,
beliefs and unstated assumptions about life, their society and the universe
that constitute a particular worldview for that specific group. People's
worldview is one of the most critical lenses through which they view
reality. It is the frame of reference for their thoughts and actions and
for the assumptions about how the world is and ought to be organized. God
knows very well each cultures and context and God can rise in each setting
committed people to make Jn 10:10 a reality in their families and
communities. Our responsibility is not to go to solve problems, but to go to
facilitate local people to assume responsibility on God's mission for their
land and contexts. CHWs that have tasted God's love and commitment for life
become very effective facilitators in the transformation of communities
worldviews, a critical element for behaviors modification.

The traditional goal of "Health for All" needs a new approach of "All for
Health" in which the "priesthood of the believers" can be embodied
constructing healthy environments, healthy behaviors and healthy policies
that allow nurturing and sustainable conditions for the coming generations.
CHWs are the facilitators of local movement to achieve this.
Self-empowerment allows self-agency and co-agency processes of local
communities assuming responsibility for their own health, wellbeing and
history. When impoverished communities discover "we are the people we have
been waiting for", new children, new families, new local organizations, and
new communities will rise."
Hope you stuck through it all...some good stuff in there :)

Established

Established, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

The week before last I was outside reading on campus since it was such a nice day. As I was walking, I passed what I think was a tour group on campus. One of the guys saw that I had my camera with me and asked if I would take his picture, which, of course I did. It just cracked my up because not only did he have me take his picture, and not only did he pose for it, but he jumped up on this low ledge in preparation for the picture. All amusing considering the fact that I am a stranger to him and he will never actually see this picture.

That building behind him is the backside of the building that I spend most of my time in. Someday I will post a picture of it and you can slowly, piece by piece, picture what things may look like around here.

Political Wordle

Tomorrow I am giving a riveting lecture on 'unobtrusive social research methods.' Avoiding most of the content that may give this observation more legitimacy, (what would be the fun in making a legitimate generalization, anyways?) here is one of my examples...

Below are the word clouds (made at wordle.net) for the presidential inauguration speeches back through Clinton's first round (ordered from newest to oldest). These are essentially word usage frequency counts, bigger words are used more often. The change from Bush #1 to Bush #2 is very interesting in terms his focus. Also, it would seem that the dem. guys have a bigger focus on active things: today, time, now, work, must, new, and generation look to be popular. Bush looks to focus more on national identity kind of stuff: story, nation, country, promise, common, freedom, courage, citizens, character, liberty, history, cause, free, hopes and so on. This is pretty interesting (i think). It doesn't mean, necessarily, that Bush didn't care about being active and taking care of thing, nor that the Dem. guys didn't care about national identity. It could be that the way they communicated and envisioned this in action was different, but they thought they were doing the same thing. Who knows.

Either way, the difference in their focus in their speech is interesting....

Obama

Bush's #2

Bush's #1

Clinton's #2

Clinton's #1

passion x skills x opportunity = hot spot!

found on: http://50topmodels.wordpress.com/

I was looking around for a diagram of Bourdieu's theory of habitus and social fields and stumbled upon this one (not his, by the way). it is from this awesome blog that corresponds to a book (that is only in German right now) of the 50 best diagrams. Anyways, i like this one a lot. I have always liked to see people doing things that they love even if it is not the most profitable thing for them to do. There are few people out there, i would think, that actually are in the center of this diagram. Often i think we get sucked off 'course' into sectors where possibly some of our passion is lost as a result of an immersion in an overabundance of opportunity, or something like that. Anyways, it is an interesting thing to think about in terms of life decisions and an evaluation there of.

Space

Space, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

The last few days I have been thinking a bit about ecology. I think that space is a hugely important thing in our lives that we rarely stop to think about. How we are shaped as people is almost inseparable from the space in which we find ourselves. Our cognitive structures develop as a reflexive response to the space and time in which we are. This can, in a very real sense, constrain thought and choices of action, while not determining them. Expanding horizons takes on a while new meaning that way!

Anyways, this is a picture of one of the 'reading rooms' here at Baylor. Sometimes I start to be less productive in my office here so I will rotate around campus, and this is one of the places that I like to go. The decor is all what I would think classic southern decor as being. This space has an impact on me.

Last night when I was riding the motorcycle back to B's place, there were so many interesting smells. It got me to thinking about how much less of life we are able to experience merely by being in a car and not traveling in some other way. It is true you can put the windows down, but it is still significantly different than on a motorcycle. In general, everything is experienced in a completely different fashion when on a motorcycle. That 'space' has an impact on me.

The other day Sara and I were talking about being in TX a bit (small bit, and I got to thinking about it later). Being in TX is very good for what we are doing. I am less sure that TX is as good as other places for us. This space has an impact on us.

BearDowns!

BearDowns-6, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

This last week there was a relay-bicycle race on campus, called BearDowns. It is a 30-mile relay race. Each team was a team of four, and each person went for 1.4 miles before changing. It was totally awesome, and I hope that we can get a team together for it next year (if they do it again that is). Also, it was after the sun went down, just to make it that much cooler.



It was pretty fun to watch as well because it was a short loop, so you always get to see something going on. It was also kind of funny to see them change out riders. All teams only use one bike, so the change-out can get interesting. The one rider usually hopped off and let the bike keep going while the other person would hop on it. As you can imagine, just like passing a baton, there were some fails - all them more crazy to see since it is a bike and not a baton!

Firsts

It is a strange blessing and burden to deliver bad news to someone. Today I had to tell a family that their 4 month old child had cystic fibrosis (inherited disorder mainly affecting the lungs and GI tract/pancreas that has no cure and has a current average lifespan of 36). It was really the first time I've had to deliver bad news to someone. I guess the news could have been worse...i didn't have to tell them their child had died, or had cancer with a poor prognosis but it is still bad news. An answer, yes, which is nice as for 2 and a half weeks we really didn't know what was going on and felt like we were getting no where fixing their child, but no one truly wants an answer of an illness without a cure with a lot of morbidity.

It really is a privilege though to get to care for these patients and play an intimate part in their lives and the lives of their family. I hope as I go through residency I get a little less awkward in talking to families, but today went as well as it could. A humbling thing to have to break news like this. Just makes me realize too that I wish all my patients had the comfort of ultimate faith in God and His plan at tough times like this (and non-tough times too!) and sadness knowing that most don't and wondering how to actively make my faith a more active part of my interactions with families.

On a positive note, day off tomorrow!!! A long run with a friend, hanging out with my hubby once he gets back tomorrow afternoon, and some much needed house and car cleaning before gearing up for working ALL weekend (Saturday AM to Sunday noon....). Weather has been beautiful though, finally enjoying the Dallas sun and warm weather when others are getting snow :)

Late Night Cures

Late Night Cures, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

I thought this would be a fitting photo for today. I was here at the office 'till fairly early this morning. For some reason it is inevitable that I have a full book and a paper to write on Wednesday nights.

Common Grounds is one of the coffee shops right by campus here. It is a pretty sweet little place that is a cool place to study and is kind of trendy. It has all the signs of a 'socially progressive' joint, but interestingly enough, they sell all of their stuff in Styrofoam cups. Weird. Anyways, the coffee is not too shabby.

Shade Tree

Shade Tree, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

So there has finally been a bit of a break in the rain around here. Over the last month and a half or so, we have had more rain than the typical yearly average. Each time it would rain there was flooding around as the ground was all saturated. The Trinity River outside of Dallas hit a high water mark (for now) of 30 ft.

This is a picture of probably one of the nicer quads on campus here. It is right outside of the building that has our offices in it. There are huge pecan trees all over and many of them have these swings on them. I didn't really notice when I was taking the picture that you could see this as well, but those bushes there spell out 'BAYLOR BEARS.' They are just starting in this picture, but right now around those bushes are these awesome bright yellow flowers blooming. I am glad for a no-rain week. I was going into motorcycle withdraws there!

Sea of Blankets

Sea of Blankets, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

Weekends have almost taken on a new meaning. I get to see the wife and cram a week's worth of quality time into a day or two (or into hours, depending on her rotation). I get to sleep in my own bed. I get to choose clothes from anything in the closet. I can wear any of my shoes. I can make my own delicious coffee.

I could probably go on, but you get the idea. It is the little things in life.
------------------------
you should read Rendering Unto Caesar if you are interested in the relationship of governments and churches as interpreted through rational choice theory (dad, this could be interesting in relation to the German church in Nazi Germany in comparison with the Confessing Church. just a thought)....

Did you Know?

So, I think I am going to try and make a new rule about posting on the blog for myself. I am going to try and not post things that people may need to read more than once to get the point as often as I have as of late. They may still come out sometimes, but not as often as it is probably not really all that interesting to most (or any?) who read this blog...

Anyways, here is a video that I stumbled upon today that is pretty interesting. I will save the social commentary for another time. :)

Vantage Point

Vantage Point, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

Jane Addams thought that one's vantage point is of utmost importance both in understanding them and their social position in life, but also in making any kind of advance in terms of social change. This is, however, a highly complex thing to nail down. It is unrealistic to expect social change to be implemented and then naturally be internalized by the wider community.

But how is it that we can effectively know one's vantage point? Groups of people are far from being ubiquitous in terms of their identity, and it is often very unclear where the impulses of change are coming from. Even then, we do not share all of our self with all people. That is, certain people only know certain things that we chose to share with them. In these terms, it is obvious that there never can be a clear vantage point to be known.

The more that I learn and think about things, the less clear the world seems to become. There is always the same general outline, but in some ways, it is typically the fuzzy edges that are both most interesting and matter the most.

Divergent Consensus

Divergent Consensus, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

We went to the fair this weekend. I have some pictures, but they are at home and not processed. It was good to hang out with Sara for a bit, AND we got to eat some Texas Deep Fried Pecan Pie. It was crazy crowded though, and seemed like the point of the fair was more about making money that it was about making community. What happened to the good old days?

Instead of fair pictures you get the classics. Some are better, some are worse. Depends on whether you prefer to hold to social theories more in a dogmatic sense, or whether you are more comfortable with flexibility. Seeing as how it is social theory, you would think that everyone would welcome flexibility, but alas, this is not always the case. I would think that people generally are pretty flexible in how they see the world, but it seems that most flexible ideas are better defined as stringent. Stringent flexibility, that is, as opposed to flexible stringency. Alright, enough for now, ha!

Reminder...

Reminder..., originally uploaded by a b franzen.

Can't wait to see you for more than a few hours this weekend. Hopefully there will be some elephant ears...

RAIN!

What the... the weather here has been totally crazy since we arrived. This summer was in like the top 5 hottest summers since TX has been keeping the records. Right now, it is unusually 'dreary' here, they say. So far this month, there has only been two days that there has not been some precipitation. What is up with that? More that than, there has not been much sun out either. It does make it a little bit of fun to leave and return to Dallas as the city looks cool with the tops of the buildings lost in a thick veil of fog.

Today it rain. Again. This time though, it was crazy heavy rain (ok, truth be told, there is not much middle ground when it comes to rain here). B's drive was all under like 3 inches of standing water and everyone on the highway was only driving like 40 mph. This time, unlike that last time I complained about it, it was for good reason. The rain was so heavy that I think the visibility was only like 50 ft or so. Sure is a good thing that we got Rex's (sara's car) trunk all sealed up! Also a good thing that I wore my Chacos today. The road I had to park on was a veritable river!

In a Tight Little World

In a Tight Little World, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

I was reading Simmel today and got to thinking... I wonder if it is necessarily the case that the more 'cultured' and educated a person is, they less they are able to be their self around other people. Experiences are so individual, and the more breadth one gains, the more distanced from others people are in a way. So, in order to continue to relate to other people, the more our interactions must be generalized. That is, all that we are cannot be brought to bear in all of our interactions with others because they have no connecting point of reference. How much of our 'self' is left behind for the sake of relationships? Who knows, but Simmel would think that there is a sort of built-in tension of individual and 'other' in every interaction that we have.

It is kind of funny, but in order to keep up with the 'book' photo project, I think I may need to start taking pictures with piles of books in them...

Read American Evangelicalism if you are into a) Evangelical movement, b) extension/fine-tuning of rational choice theory, c) subculture identity construction. Read Acts of Faith if you are into a) rational choice/economic models of religion. Am just getting into Simmel today, so not sure on that one yet....

Colorado Bend waterfal

Sara wanted me to put up these pictures for her quick tonight... the long awaited pictures of the water fall we went to. Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you, this was indeed in TX. like sara said, who would have thought...


Here is the side of the falls.

The side of the falls again....

The trail leading down to where the previous two pictures were taken...

A, ahhh, not so good picture of us. But hey, there are fall behind us and we hiked there in the rain. So, it is cool.

Here are the falls closer up. they were pretty sweet!

students

working with students has been very interesting so far. some really care a lot about their education, their grades, and whether they are getting things in class. others care about their grade and little else. some are not even at that point. some ask for help and listen, some ask for help and obviously don't listen, and some should ask for help and don't.

our class is working on a large paper, piece by piece through the semester. this last week the first big part of it was due. I got a crazy number of emails and people coming by to talk about it (remember, this is relative to the number i usually get, so it isn't really all that crazy). one who came by was visibly stressed and worried about this paper. we talked over things a bit and i gave her some pointers and some examples of what we are looking for. she looked so scared of it that before she left i asked her if she was alright just to make sure she wouldn't cry in the hall or something like that.

i just graded her paper last night and it was one of the best ones in the stack. it was kind of funny, but i was totally proud of her. i was very happy to see her paper. she pulled through, actually listened to what i said, put the time in, and did a great job. it is just funny to me because i have never really worked with students like this before, so the experience of helping her get it and excel was new.

some of the other papers on the other hand....

Who'd have thought

Here are some pictures from our trip. I love waterfalls, but Aaron had told me to lower my expectations when online it appeared there would be a waterfall where we were going as we are in Texas, but a short hike through some sprinkling rain besides dying cactus we ended up at quite a pretty site and I admit, I was impressed and my expectations were far exceeded. Not sure if the pictures do justice to it.

You can sorta tell how wet it was. A real nice state park though, along a river


What a wonderful weekend to get away (despite the rain). I am on hematology/oncology right now which I am really enjoying, but sometimes the sadness gets to me, so it was nice to have 2 days off to relax and not think about sad kids for a bit. Unfortunately, lots of the ones we see in the hospital have a pretty poor prognosis. Leukemia (the most common cancer in kids) has a 95% cure rate and most do really well, but we end up seeing more of the ones coming in for relapses or worse kinds of tumors with much worse prognoses. It is strange, because day to day you don't think about. You manage the acute issues like their fevers or getting them to eat better and feel privileged to take care of such cute kids, but every once in a while a mention of the future hits you....will these kids even have a future? One of my patients I sent home last week came back today with relapse of her leukemia. Overall because of various things she probably didn't have a great prognosis anyway, but now it is even worse. These parents amaze me though. Most of them (and most of the kids as well) have such a strength. I guess they like me, probably just live day to day managing the acute issues and trying not to think about the long term too much. Haven't had a patient I know well die yet, but it is bound to happen and I am sure there will be a blog about it. Sorry for an ending downer to a beginning of exceeded Texas expectations.

Ok....not letting me upload more pictures, so i'll try to put them in another post.

Stand Out

Stand Out, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

This is from the Grapevine Grapefest that we went to a few weeks ago. It was totally an expectation let-down. Maybe it would have been more awesome if I had gotten a hand-dipped corn dog and shook the hand of the man on the stilts. Yep, that's how we roll in TX. Our wine-fests even remind you that you are in TX.

In other news, camping this past weekend at Colorado Bend State Park was awesome. TX hill country really is pretty nice. On the down-side, it rained. A lot. On top of that I forgot my camera, but we did have the point and shoot. We will hopefully get some pics of that up soon-ish.

Unseasonal

Unseasonal, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

This photo makes me think of a lot of different things. One is that the onset of fall in TX has been very odd for me. I am still wearing shorts and wearing sandals around while family and friends have already experienced the first snow of the season. It really does make TX feel like a different world that has a perpetual summer. I have not yet been able to wrap my mind around that.

Here in TX we are likely going to be able to grow plants outside just about throughout the entire year. That is a good thing because Sara likes to have some fresh flowers around in the house.

Last, I was thinking that this flower plant is also an interesting analogy. It used to sit on our porch that does not get very much sun. This poor little guy is the kind of plant that really likes to bask, and in its deprivation, all of the flowers died off. The plant didn't die, just its color; that flare that makes it special. Then we moved it to the small windowsill outside of our bedroom that gets a lot of sun. Now his flowers are back and he is happy again. Put the plant in the context that it was made for, and it will once again bloom.

Not Color Blind

Not Color Blind, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

"No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white"
- John Mayer

Sometimes it seems that the hardest thing is seeing how reality interacts and impacts my world. Even harder is showing shades of gray to one convinced reality is not in grayscale.

Understanding Shiner

Understanding Shiner, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

So I figured that since I am around books a lot, and books will likely be in a lot of my pictures that go out, I might as well start to get a picture of some sort of each book I have to read. Should be a good time. This is the first one of this series, Understanding Terror Networks. A riveting read if you are into a) terrorism b) terror networks c) network theory d) rational choice theory, or d) some sort of government policy in regards to terror networks.

In other news, Shiner, TX's local brewery (although I think it is owned by some bigger one), actually has some pretty good beers! They are frequently a good study companion.

Just a Perk

Just a Perk, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

When B found out that I drink coffee she started to make it for me everyday. It is a little bit funny because I don't think she normally gets up quite that early and she sets her alarm each day to get up on time. I tell her all of the time that she does not need to change what she normally does just because I am there, but I think she actually likes doing it.

When she first started to make coffee, she would always say things like, "your coffee is perking on the stove," or "I let you coffee perk for you." At first I thought this was something that people used to say when they made coffee and just thought it was an amusing quirk, but then I figured it out. She has this super old percolator to make coffee with. Set it on the stove and when the water boils it does basically the same thing as a drip maker, but just recycles the water. Coffee 'perks' because she uses a percolator.

I was a little disappointed that it took me a few days to figure that out.

Here's your sign

Sorry there haven't been any pictures this week. Last weekend I left my camera cord in Wacko and then just didn't bring the camera here this week. Anyways, I was thinking today as I drove to school that I should start to take pictures of some funny signs around here.

One of them is for a town called Lorena, and it says, "Lorena - rich in community." It makes me laugh every time I see it because it is like they are saying, "we are pretty poor and don't have anything to offer, but hey - we are all pretty good friends!"

Another one is out front of this building that is all boarded up, and it says, "Repo home center of Waco." Maybe I just don't know what that is, but I was thinking that it was like a place where you can buy repo'ed homes (foreclosed?), but the place that offers that service was apparently repo'ed.

I know - short list right now.

Aww, the "Normal Life"

I am so excited to feel like a real person again. I just finished 4 weeks of night float and it was a wonderful feeling to come home at 4 pm today. Night float meant I worked noon Sunday to 7 am Monday, and then 7 pm - 7 am Monday night through Thursday night. Overall night float is just a weird place to be for a number of reasons.....first, you sort of start to feel like you live in a cave, second it is hard to ever connect with anyone as you are sleeping or starting work when everyone else is free (played phone tag with multiple people for the whole month), third the job itself is weird-- your main goal is to keep patients alive until morning (hopefully we did a little more than simply keep them alive though) and answer nurse's pages about a variety of things - starting meds, talking to parents about this or that at midnight (why do parents decide they want to talk to the physician at midnight?!?!!), assessing a patient with fever, fast breathing or who just in general doesn't look too good. By the end of the 4 weeks my life consisted of working, sleeping, eating and then on my weekends off basically the same thing minus the working as despite getting adequate sleep during the week I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to do anything productive. But we put in our time on night float so we have 4 less months where we have overnight call in the hospital, which is definitely worth it. And the nights were slow enough that occasionally we passed our times with fondue parties and such. But I am glad it is done!

Now I am on hematology/oncology with somewhat normal day schedules. Back to some normalcy, although the other day (albeit it was night float) I walked into the hospital and felt like I was in a movie. The line for the ER registration desk was overflowing into the hallway and everywhere I looked I saw yellow masks. Patients running around with masks over their mouth and nose, parents, siblings, doctors...everywhere were face masks. No one needs to go panic, but the flu season is going to be bad this year! Flu precautions are already in full force at Children's, so anyone in the hospital with any inkling of flu symptoms has to wear a mask. Just several friendly doctor reminders.....get your flu shot!!!! and unless you have a severe underlying medical illness, do not go to the busy overcrowded ER if you think you have the flu, it is fine to go to your regular doctor! Our ER is currently maxed out with flu patients and although it may make for me feeling like I am in the movies, they have had to set up a completely separate area specifically for flu diagnosis for people who really don't need to be there at all.

Looks Different From Here

Looks Different From Here, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

The last few days I have been missing St. Louis, and that is one thing I am not sure I thought I would ever say. It is odd to me that you can arrive at a place, or see a thing, or meet a person and at first they are so deeply foreign to us, but after a bit, whether consciously or not, we take them in and some kind of mutual socialization happens. That is, a part or piece of them creates and makes a piece of us, and same with the other way around. The creation and dynamics of 'community' is a crazy thing. One of my favorite (and least favorite at the same time for different reasons) things about the world today is that we are able to have and maintain some sort of community even when the 'place' is no longer necessarily also the 'here.' The alien feeling of St. Louis seems all the less alien to me now being in the country of Texas. I wonder if St. Louis feels a little more alienated now without us in town? ha - not likely.

I miss you, Kaldi's. I miss you, Forest Park. I miss you, old apartment. I miss you, old neighborhood. I miss you, friends we made while there. I miss you, sidewalk cafes and restaurants. I miss you, free things to do. I miss you, old commute.

home!

Another weekend and I get to see my wonderful wife again. It was an exciting drive home today.

One of the semi-trucks that I passed on the way home today was missing a tire... actually, it was partly still there. It was all gone but still had the sidewalls flapping around.

I saw a dead wild turkey on the side of the road - I think that is a first for me.

I saw some lady with crazy road rage think her little car was intimidating to the semi whose lane she apparently thought she deserved. Best part was that she had one of those 'coexist' bumper stickers on. Thought it was a bit ironic.

Anyways, I have obviously changed the template for the blog around. If you can't read it again let me know and I will... do something. plane background was too boring. BTW, Hannah, I did get that web page from your blog... thanks for sharing. ;)

Left Side Squatter

Left Side Squatter, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

Now with all of the commuting, here is one of my new pet p's (is it p's or peeves?). Left lane squatters. They cause traffic jams on the wide-open highway. They enforce the speed limit at whatever speed they decide to go. They are obviously oblivious to the world around them, and as a result are likely to be very dangerous on road.

Look here buddy - just because you think 50 is a good speed in light rain on a 70 mph highway does not mean it actually is OR that we all agree with you!

(note to all concerned with the safety of this pic: neither myself or any other person was put in harms way to take this picture and I was not at any time obviously oblivious to the world around me)

Wake Up and See

Wake Up and See, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

It just stopped raining a bit ago. It has been raining hard since sometime on Friday. I had no idea that TX did that, and it was kind of nice, actually. Our little (failing) pot-garden on the balcony sure enjoyed it.

It was a good time to read, or try to anyways. I am terrible at studying and really need to get this thing figured out soon or it could be bad news! Anyways, I just thought I would take yet another break and put up a pic....

All Golden Weekends

All Golden Weekends, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

Weekends are always nice, but they are even more nice now that it is when Sara and I get to hang out again. The down side is that I still have a lot of stuff to do over the weekend usually. So far it still works out though because Sara has important stuff to do over the weekend still, too, like sleep (and I imagine at some point work, and maybe a bit of studying also).

Office Space

Office Space , originally uploaded by a b franzen.

So I got to thinking about this whole trying put up more pictures and it may not always be too overly interesting as far as content goes, ha. I will try to get some away from books and notebooks from time to time though.

Here at school they provide each of us grad students in the department with our own desk, a computer, drawer space, shelving for books, AND my 'office' (drawback: they are cubicles) has windows! Anyways, it is really good for people like me who really struggle with productivity. It is a good place for me to do work, and I try really hard to only do work here so I can keep it as a habit and compartmentalize things that I need to do in life. I will let you know how that goes!

Torn Pockets

Torn Pockets, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

We went down a little south of here to go bouldering today - while Sara labored away. It was awesome. Seriously. I think this park may have, in one day, changed much of my perspective of TX. There were trees. There were hills. There was green. There was rocks. There were other people outside, doing outside things. There were over a hundred bouldering routes. Seriously - it was really good to get out there today.

A few things:
I have no strength in my hands (ok, ok, it is more of a wide-spread problem than that).
Limestone can be fun to climb on.
Limestone can be sharp.
My hand hurt.
But just a few hours today will go a long way in building calluses!

Purpose is a Niche

Purpose is a Niche, originally uploaded by a b franzen.

It has been pretty much since sara left me alone for like a year that I have posed some pictures just for the sake of posting a picture. I kind of miss it, actually, so I thought I would try and post some pics up on a quasi-regular basis. We shall see how that goes - especially because I don't have the computer processing program at school.

Anyways, this weekend's reading has been consumed by Marx and stuff on religious economies. I thought about trying to work up something profound to go with this picture, but sometimes it is better to play it on the safe side and not fake profundity when it really isn't there. But, here is to a 3 day weekend (for some of us)!

Waco fun

It has been really good to get back into the swing of things with school. it has not picked up too terrible quick just yet; my TA work isn't too bad just yet, with only a bit of grading each week so far. The reading load is pretty terrible and I have multiple papers due each week for the most part, but still not too bad. As far as the religion emphasis goes here, it is me and to girls. One is from Canada and the other is from CO.

living with the lady down by waco has been interesting so far. she is still very active and is a very outgoing lady who just loves, loves to tell stories. She also has taken to making me dinner on most nights that I am here. Typically this is the first few minutes when i get home:
me: hello!
her: hello - dinner is almost ready. I just made ... tonight, hope that is alright.
me: you really shouldn't make food for me all of the time, you already do enough by letting me stay here!
her: oh, it is just some ... and ....
me: i know but still...
her: my husband used to always....

and off she goes. takes a good 30 or more minutes to find a break in the conversation after dinner to get off to do some homework. cracks me up. So, so far we have had stir fry, baked potatoes, pork loin, and one morning she made 'just' sausage and biscuits. Oh, and one night we played a few rounds of sequence. she lives out in the country next to a really big spring-fed pond (where i can go fishing, she says) and a creek down in this little ravine right by her house. she has this little overlook on the edge of the 'cliff' by the creek which i may try and do some reading by - especially now that we are getting some days that are less than 100. i think it will work out alright living here, even if it is like 25 or so minutes out of waco still (but that beats 1hr 40 min, and the price is right!). I have been spending most of the week down here since sara is on night float right now and I wouldn't see her really at all even if i did go home.

oh yeah, and my feet hang off the end of the bed.

600 and counting

this week i put over 600 miles on the motorcycle. in one week. wait - no, in 3 days. i am hoping that my butt adjusts to this quicker than it has decided to so far, or else it may be a more painful experience than i had expected. a few quick things i have learned over the past week:

- texans like to speed. if they don't like to speed, they like to be the turtle on the road holding everyone up.

- those turtle - they like to camp out in the left hand lane on the highway, apparently oblivious to the fact that even trucks barely going the speed limit are passing them on the right. who does that?!

- i have re-joined the instant community that a motorcycle provides you with. all bikes wave to each other as if we all knew each other. that is kind of fun. CO does not do this and it was surprisingly really annoying that bikers in CO are asses like that. i felt like the kid from a small town that is personally offended when not everyone waves back when they go to the city. TX wins that one, no competition.

- buying gas twice a day will get old fast.

I obey the speed limit

So, sometimes I think I have a really addictive personality... kind of. I get really into things, but then I seem to also loose interest in a lot of things. Gambling is an example. I have done it like 2 times and i get real into it, having a hard time stopping, and then I hit some invisible threshold and quickly hate the whole thing for taking my $3 back away from me. jerks.

Anyways, I have started to read the Twilight series and have had a hard time living normal life since. Each of those books are like 500 or something pages and I have read the first three in a little over a week. I know. Grieve for me like the wife does... but I am done until like Thanksgiving break now. No more reading that kind of stuff unless I am on a break. It would be a big problem for school!

Speaking of which, orientation is tomorrow and that kind of totally freaks me out. I got my TA assignment (undergrad social research) and apparently I even have office hours for the kiddies. Something that is kind of cool is that they submit their papers to me electronically, and this system automatically checks the paper against some database for any plagerization. How far we have come.

On a totally unrelated note, tonight I pulled up to a stop light next to a Lamborghini. On the bike. I was able to resist. Mostly. I think it was either borrowed, rented, or brand new because he seemed to struggle a bit with the clutch on the beast.

1979.6

1979.6. That is how many miles I put on the bike in the last couple of weeks. I took it out to CO for a little bit of a vacation before school kicks into gear. It was an awesome trip and I got to do lots of things that I have missed a lot since not going to CO or WA in a while. I got to see lots of friends that I have not seen in a long time and have missed a lot as well. Overall I am glad that I was able to take the bike out there, though. I decided that I really like to travel by bike. You get to see and experience things in a totally different way on a bike than otherwise. The only thing that I wanted while I was out there (maybe besides a softer seat) was other people to go with though.

The last night I stayed at a rest stop in Amarillo, TX, which was interesting. I slept under a picnic shelter on concrete and got eaten alive by mosquitos. A security guards (yep, 24 hour security!) told me that they have been having a terrible time with mosquitoes because they have been getting a lot of rain. Anyways, my face and body had bites all over the place, with the addition of one pretty good size spider bite. So, I fought the bugs all night, tried to sleep totally sealed in a much-too-warm mummy bag, and then a massive thunderstorm came along. It was actually nice though... cooled things down a lot, but didn't help with the sleep thing. I got up before sunrise to start out. one of the best things I have ever done. The sunrise that morning was absolutely stunning, and it lingered for a long time because of all the clouds that were out. It was a very, very deep red; like the red of the inner part of a peach.

Here are a bunch of pics from the trip though...

Landon getting ready to repel...




Sara reading on the boat in the San Juans....




Lopez Island Winery


Me getting ready to ride Buddy, the scooter!


The sunset on the last night in Amarilly, TX.

An "inconvenient" life

I love Maryanne Radmacher's cards and posters. This is one of my new favorite quotes from her and one that I hope my life reflects, but I realized today that it rarely does. I am on the "save darfur" email list. I get emails every few weeks asking us to email or call some politician to show them that Americans are concerned about what is going on in Darfur or that they should vote this way or that on a bill that will affect the Sudan region. I always send the emails on, but never make the phone calls. Today I got an email encouraging us to call as there is some bill coming up. I deleted it. And then stopped and thought, why do I feel passionate about this cause when all it requires is a few clicks of the mouse, but when it requires me picking up a phone and calling some representative's secretary my passion for Darfur ends. Maybe it is because although I think the genocide is SO wrong and needs to end, I as of now am not personally affected by it, so my compassion is not yet the gut-wrenching kind that motivates extreme action. Maybe it is because I don't have faith in our political process or the process in Sudan and don't think a phone call will do any good. But ashamedly I think I fail to make the phone call because it is inconvenient. It takes more than 30 seconds to make a phone call. I also fear my ignorance that although I do care deeply about the issue, I have not taken the time to do enough research to feel that I know enough to talk intelligently to someone and tell them why they should vote this way or that. My convenient life - failing to step off the trail or sidewalk while I am running to stop and pick up a piece of litter; failing to stay 10 extra minutes after my shift ends at midnight to go tell my patients that I am off and a new doctor will be taking care of them. Simple examples of things I have caught myself not doing the past few days and later stop and wonder why I didn't take the few seconds, the tiny moment of inconvenience to do them. I'm pretty positive that there will be many more times every day when I will choose the convenient and easy way rather than the inconvenient, but something to think about and perhaps hold ourselves accountable too. As the "inconvenient life" is not really that at all, but one that makes things better in the end for others and ultimately ourselves as well, as the quote says, one that is lived to the edge of possibility.

PS - Too much time in an apartment by myself makes me ponder things too much. I think it is time for Aaron to come home ;) Or for me to go on vacation in Washington....how about both!