An "inconvenient" life

I love Maryanne Radmacher's cards and posters. This is one of my new favorite quotes from her and one that I hope my life reflects, but I realized today that it rarely does. I am on the "save darfur" email list. I get emails every few weeks asking us to email or call some politician to show them that Americans are concerned about what is going on in Darfur or that they should vote this way or that on a bill that will affect the Sudan region. I always send the emails on, but never make the phone calls. Today I got an email encouraging us to call as there is some bill coming up. I deleted it. And then stopped and thought, why do I feel passionate about this cause when all it requires is a few clicks of the mouse, but when it requires me picking up a phone and calling some representative's secretary my passion for Darfur ends. Maybe it is because although I think the genocide is SO wrong and needs to end, I as of now am not personally affected by it, so my compassion is not yet the gut-wrenching kind that motivates extreme action. Maybe it is because I don't have faith in our political process or the process in Sudan and don't think a phone call will do any good. But ashamedly I think I fail to make the phone call because it is inconvenient. It takes more than 30 seconds to make a phone call. I also fear my ignorance that although I do care deeply about the issue, I have not taken the time to do enough research to feel that I know enough to talk intelligently to someone and tell them why they should vote this way or that. My convenient life - failing to step off the trail or sidewalk while I am running to stop and pick up a piece of litter; failing to stay 10 extra minutes after my shift ends at midnight to go tell my patients that I am off and a new doctor will be taking care of them. Simple examples of things I have caught myself not doing the past few days and later stop and wonder why I didn't take the few seconds, the tiny moment of inconvenience to do them. I'm pretty positive that there will be many more times every day when I will choose the convenient and easy way rather than the inconvenient, but something to think about and perhaps hold ourselves accountable too. As the "inconvenient life" is not really that at all, but one that makes things better in the end for others and ultimately ourselves as well, as the quote says, one that is lived to the edge of possibility.

PS - Too much time in an apartment by myself makes me ponder things too much. I think it is time for Aaron to come home ;) Or for me to go on vacation in Washington....how about both!

Today is a GOOD day

Every morning I get to work and we page the nightfloat person to tell them we are there so they can come checkout to us (ie tell us what happened with our kids overnight). Lately we've been trying to think of things more creative, than "hey, we're upstairs whenever you're ready", so today's message was "today is a GOOD day, and we've got a present for you" (brownies one of my colleagues made). And it was a good day. With Aaron being gone (he is in Colorado for two weeks visiting friends and family) it has started a cascade of missing things. First missing him, then missing my friends from med school, then missing friends from college and high school, then just missing having friends in general, missing my family, missing my adorable dog, missing mountains and water and lots of green trees...the list goes on. But in the midst of my heart aching that those I care about are so far away and it is so blasted hot here all the time, it was still a good day. I went for a run on a paved trail that runs through the city and it was fabulous. It started raining while I was running, which was such a welcome blessing...reminding me of home, making the temperature bearable to run in, and overall incredibly refreshing. I ran along the trail amidst tons of other runners, bikers, dog walkers, etc and felt ok about this place and my job. I'm still getting used to being a doctor and many days feel hopelessly overwhelmed by the amount of things I feel like I should know and don't and am also getting used to Dallas though I'm pretty sure we will not live in Dallas longer than we have to, but God is good and I need to remember that and live each day filled with His joy. Tomorrow is going to be a GOOD day as well (especially since it is a real Friday since i am done with cardiology tomorrow at 4 pm and have the weekend off before starting ER on Monday!!!!)

Two beautiful Days!

It is amazing how much I used to take weekends for granted. Days completely off for granted even. This weekend I finally had a day off after working 17 straight days. Given, i'd gotten off at 12 or 1 pm on the 2 weekends I had worked prior (although one of those days I'd worked a 30 hour shift so my afternoon "off" was spent sleeping), so it wasn't like I had worked 10 hours a day for 17 days, but still, not sleeping in I think was what was getting me the most.

The weekend surpisingly didn't fly by either. Yesterday after getting to sleep in, go running in the morning when the thermometer hasn't topped 90 yet, and a few errands we headed an hour or so South East to experience some Dallas camping. Apparently there are really no real lakes in Texas, only resevoirs, so we spent the afternoon floating around and laying out beside a muddy resevoir. Not too bad though. Although it was a little hot for camping, it wasn't too bad among the trees with a bit of a breeze and was so nice to get away from Dallas into the beautiful outdoors for a while. And the mosquitos weren't swarming like I thought they might. They are much worse outside on our patio (from the stagnant creek that runs beneath our patio). Today after some fire cooked pancakes we drove back, ran some errands and went to a church that I think we will call home. The church got picked mostly be default as we needed a church that had an evening service and this was one of the few. Its got a good age mix though and lots of various ministry opportunities, so we're hoping we can get more involved.

I feel so rejuvenated after these days off! And doctoring is getting easier each day. I now know more about the functioning of the hospital and how to use the computer system a little better, so they days themselves are not so hard and draining. Here's to another golden weekend (2 days off in a row) in 2 more weeks!

one more thing...

so my saddle bags for the bike came in today... just one more indication that the fun is about to begin. i am now at least kind of equipment-wise ready for daily 3 hour commutes. we'll see about mentally. They velcro on and each have both a nice handle on them and removable shoulder straps to carry them off of the bike, which is nice. They also have reflective stuff on there that is awesome enough to burn the retinas out of a black cat at midnight during a new moon... just in case i were to ever encounter that.

goings on

Today seems to have been one of those days when reality sets on. Ever since we have moved out here I have felt like it would be years until school would start, but the reality of it being just around the corner kind of set in today.

Earlier in the day I got this fall's book list for school. Looking at the list kind of freaked me out both because of the cost of it, but also because of the sheer volume of the pages. Wow... This will be interesting for sure. They said that of is not required that we start to read now, but that it would not be a bad idea since things pick up and go so quickly.

Second, I have been trying to figure out some place that I could stay a few nights per week down in Waco to cut down on the 3 hours-per-day-commuting thing. We thought it may be a good idea to cash in on some social capital, and so I called around to a few of the local churches down there to see if they may have any leads. One pastor, who is on vacation, gave me the number for the retired pastor that is filling in for the time and I talked to him today. Super nice guy. Just got done making some fig preserves.

He said he didn't think it would be a problem at all to figure something out and that they already had a few people who may be interested and that they would still announce it in church this Sunday. If all of that fails, he said that him and his wife have a spare bedroom that I could use. Just one warning: they like to stay up until like 12 or 1 am, but they can close the door to the living room. This may be a big answer to prayer. We shall see.

In other news, tomorrow is Sara's first on call shift. That means that she goes in at 6 or so tomorrow morning, works through the night and gets off at like 12 in the afternoon on Saturday. Yep, 30 hours. Just in case that was too boring, she has a 101 temp tonight and may be coming down with something. She said she may go get quick tested for swine flue in the morning just in case... that is the last thing a bunch of super sick heart-patient kids would need.

In other other news, the saddle bags for the motorcycle should be here tomorrow. good times.