creation's groove

Alright, three posts in one day.  This is crazy.  I wanted to put this up though.  Put it somewhere so this thought can 'arrive' and make way for another in a way.  It is a bit long so, ehh.  I realize that we may not be able to actually talk directly with many that read this, so it may be a bit bewildering.  Sorry 'bout that.  More for the unknowing than the bewildering.  word.
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Life is such a roller coaster. Over the years there are ups and downs. Even over a matter of weeks or days. There are downs.

A while back I was walking on campus and had one of the more surreal experiences of my life. I was walking with my headphones in, listening to a favorite song. I have long had a soft spot for music’s ability to connect deeply to emotions, memories, and experiences. Because of this, I think music is able to take us to a place where memories, emotions, and desires in life can all crash together in a cacophony of thoughts.

It was beautiful out.  As I walked, I had the sudden feeling of isolation. There were people all around me that didn’t interact with or notice me at all and I didn’t interact with them. They all had their thoughts, feeling, emotions and desires - all of which were completely isolated and separated from me. It was deepened by the fact that I couldn’t hear them because of the music, but hearing only gives the impression of connection. Isolation is the reality; connection is the desire that doesn’t actually exist.

I think this is true.  We are all isolated.  There can be truths, philosophically cogent arguments, and Reality (with a big 'R') and other universalizing stuff, but in the end none of that matters. Experience is king and it is both rational and irrational. Connection is deeply related to the ability to connect, which is necessarily related to identities. Identities are endlessly individual specific and so each connection is going to be, to some degree, disconnected.

Disconnection is the problem.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer had an amazing lecture on creation and the fall. He talked about how the tree of life was in the middle of the Garden of Eden, and so life flowed from the middle of the Garden. This life of the middle was supplied by God. The middle, supplying life, was in tension with the limit of life that stood next to it - the tree of knowledge. In the fall, Adam and Eve ran from the life of the middle to the knowledge of the limit of man that was embodied by death. They pulled back and disconnected from God, and no longer knew each other. But God did not leave them in their broken and disconnected state, but sought them out and brought them back to himself.

Christ is now our middle, our life, pulling us away from the limits - the disconnection.

Life is a roller coaster with crazy ups and downs. Elation and tragedy. The temptation is to pull back, disconnect, question, and stew. But disconnection and isolation flows out of living from the self at the limit all the while our history is re-written by the re-centering of Christ. The struggles will continue, but Christ is determined to stop us from brooding at the limits of the dead-end road. The real answer to the pain is not necessarily an answer, but a connection.