On a run this morning after I got off my night float shift, I thought
"I can't wait to go on a run and not have my head sweat" and then thought " I can't wait to go on a run in the middle of winter in shorts and a T-shirt"
I feel like Dallas is a place of I don't like one thing but then liking the opposite things that are only possible because of the first.
Or at work last night thinking "I can't wait until I don't have to FYI page the fellow at 2:30 in the morning about a medical decision I just made that I am completely confident in simply because if I don't wake him up the next morning he'll be upset because I didn't let him know about things going on even if he agreed with the decision I'd made", yet "I am in no way ready to be making my own decisions that no one checks up on being completely accountable for everything I do with no one above me"
Residency is a place of wishing we were at that next step but being scared to death to get there
Such is life. Especially this life Aaron and I seem to be living in blocks of 4 or 5 years at a time always lived in a new location with new friends, new livelihoods, new goals, successes and struggles; trying to enjoy where we are at yet always seeming to look toward the future knowing in x amount of time we will start over. Like living the Christian life in the now and not yet knowing that our life on earth is important as we also look toward life in heaven.
For now I will simply wait for the short term future when I can run without sweating and not walk to my car getting off my night shift at 7:30 am in 85 degree weather. And PS, I seem to think a lot of the blogs I post dwell on this same idea of wrestling with living in the place we are in right now.
1 comment:
I think wrestling with living in the place we are in right now is one of the most healthy things we can do with our mind, as people and as believers. I like that your post and Aaron's post are kind of along the same lines. We miss so much by focusing on the future or on the "happy" pseudoreality we've created for ourselves so that we don't have to really face life. So I say: good work! You're kicking life's butt!
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