Despair re-defined

This past week at out Bible study we were talking about New Year's resolutions, so I have been thinking about that this past week.  Last night I was thinking about how it is interesting that we tend to phrase our resolutions in negatives - lose weight - or in thinly veiled positives - be more productive (stop being lazy), be more organized (stop being sloppy), eat healthy (stop eating junk).  What would it mean, instead, to think of resolutions that were indeed positive ones.  'Productive' ones.

We talked about the verse in Ephesians (2:10) that says, "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."  In this sense, having a productive resolution then relates back to our identity in Christ.  For the longest time I thought identity issues were interesting but at the end of the day had nearly no meaning for me.  I always thought, 'yes, I agree that my identity is in Christ,' but this carried no real impact, no real change it seemed.  It was a statement that sounded Christian, warm and fuzzy.  

Then I came across a statement in Kierkegaard once about despair.  He thought that one is thrown into despair when they come to the realization that they cannot be better, cannot change, or cannot fix something.  We all have habits we get into, things we do, talk about, think about or whatever that is not in line with who we 'are' or want to be.  This is the whole point of the resolution almost.  But Kierkegaard had it right, I think.  We must see, at some point, that those failings are endemic to who we are, and this realization shifts how we see ourself not only now, but also who we see our self becoming and even re-defines who we thought we were in the past.  It changes all.  Even that statement is hard to grasp without having had the realization; having had the veneer over despair ripped off.  That is despair, and it cannot be shaken off.  It can, however, be taken from us.  This is what it means to have our identity in Christ.  He takes the identity of despair from us and gives us his own identity of being right before God.  It is only in this way that, for me, 'identity in Christ' is not only a fuzzy little Christian saying, but a reality that changes all.  Who I am, who I can be, and who I have been.  

So, the resolution.  It is, can be or should be positive because it is first rooted in an identity that allows one to be productive in life.  To do what God intends for our life.  This is only possible because we are able to really be that person created by God and not someone who tries, fails and gives up, or forgets and deviates.  Yes we do forget and we do fail, but we do not despair and be overcome by lassitude.  This is why forgiveness is not once and done, it is frequent and redefining.  

Peeps during the Reformation talked about vocation in a new way.  Before them, it was seen as a cloistered life and they changed it to be a life of meaning.  The work we do matters and does something real of worth in the world.  They talked about how we are God's mask in the world doing his work.  That is how the work we do can take on a much deeper meaning and be 'productive'.

So, the question remains then.  What positive resolution, direction or path is there for us this year and in life?  Probably a good thing to think about and struggle with.  I actually think the struggle is central to the staying 'on path.'  Maybe we should be like the old Rabbi Akiva, who wanted to pay a soldier to stand outside his door and ask him every time he passed, "Who are you, and why are you here?"